Fic: Running Home
Oct. 19th, 2008 10:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dolevalanTitle: Running Home
Fandom/original: Original
Rating: G
A/N: I don't know what I think. But I feel I've hit the point where editing is hurting, not helping.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rougen's prompt was "If only." Another introspective drabble. Meh.
She wished her brother had been there, growing up. She imagined he would have teased her; he probably would have played pranks, or pulled her braids, but he would have been there. She would have had someone to play with, someone to tell her imaginings to. Though Katiya’d always been popular enough with the villagers, the fact that she knew there was more to life outside the story meant she never really got close to anyone.
It was hard for her to imagine what the family she wanted looked like. Was it that Michalai was somehow Amy’s too, and the four of them could all be together? Was it all five of them, Meg and Amy and Nicolas and the children, somehow all caring for each other at once? Was it like what her Uncle Arthur was trying to do, a week of one, a week of the other?
She didn’t know. Not that it really mattered.
Katiya ran. Ever since she was young, she’d loved to run, as a human and as a wolf. The ground pulling away from her, the rush of blood in her ears, the impact of dirt beneath her feet. But she never got anywhere.
Sometimes, she counted steps with “what ifs.” What if her father had died, rather than left? What if her mother had died, and her father had been forced to raise her? What if she’d never had a brother? One, two three. All the configurations, ways her life could have gone.
She wanted a family, a proper family. Her mother loved her. Her brother did too. So why should it matter, what her father thought? Why should she care, if he couldn’t…
Joshua wanted a family. He’d said as much.
She wasn’t thinking about Joshua.
If she could just run a little faster, she wouldn’t be thinking about anything. She shifted forms without stopping. Faster still.
It didn’t matter what sort of family she wanted. It wouldn’t change the family she had. And all the “if only”s in the world wouldn’t show her the way back to the past, or how to navigate the future. All that was left was the burn of muscles, the scent of forest, and the wind whipping through her fur.
Fandom/original: Original
Rating: G
A/N: I don't know what I think. But I feel I've hit the point where editing is hurting, not helping.
rougen's prompt was "If only." Another introspective drabble. Meh.She wished her brother had been there, growing up. She imagined he would have teased her; he probably would have played pranks, or pulled her braids, but he would have been there. She would have had someone to play with, someone to tell her imaginings to. Though Katiya’d always been popular enough with the villagers, the fact that she knew there was more to life outside the story meant she never really got close to anyone.
It was hard for her to imagine what the family she wanted looked like. Was it that Michalai was somehow Amy’s too, and the four of them could all be together? Was it all five of them, Meg and Amy and Nicolas and the children, somehow all caring for each other at once? Was it like what her Uncle Arthur was trying to do, a week of one, a week of the other?
She didn’t know. Not that it really mattered.
Katiya ran. Ever since she was young, she’d loved to run, as a human and as a wolf. The ground pulling away from her, the rush of blood in her ears, the impact of dirt beneath her feet. But she never got anywhere.
Sometimes, she counted steps with “what ifs.” What if her father had died, rather than left? What if her mother had died, and her father had been forced to raise her? What if she’d never had a brother? One, two three. All the configurations, ways her life could have gone.
She wanted a family, a proper family. Her mother loved her. Her brother did too. So why should it matter, what her father thought? Why should she care, if he couldn’t…
Joshua wanted a family. He’d said as much.
She wasn’t thinking about Joshua.
If she could just run a little faster, she wouldn’t be thinking about anything. She shifted forms without stopping. Faster still.
It didn’t matter what sort of family she wanted. It wouldn’t change the family she had. And all the “if only”s in the world wouldn’t show her the way back to the past, or how to navigate the future. All that was left was the burn of muscles, the scent of forest, and the wind whipping through her fur.
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-21 01:34 pm (UTC)